Live Your Life with No Regrets
From the series: "STAND OUT IN THE CROWD"
by Frank Allocco, Sr.
Series Introduction
Some eye opening basketball statistics:
The beauty of sports is not in becoming a great player, it is the learning of valuable Life Skills that will serve players throughout their lives. If we look beyond the focus of winning and achieving success, the arena of competition is one of the finest classrooms a young player could ever have.
Some eye opening basketball statistics:
- 2.9% of high school players will play college basketball.
- Less than 1 in 75, or 1.3 percent of NCAA Seniors will be drafted by an NBA Team.
- About 3 in 10,000 players (0.03 percent) of high school seniors will eventually be drafted by an NBA team.
The beauty of sports is not in becoming a great player, it is the learning of valuable Life Skills that will serve players throughout their lives. If we look beyond the focus of winning and achieving success, the arena of competition is one of the finest classrooms a young player could ever have.
I was privileged to coach an amazing group of girls in the Saint Agnes CYO Basketball Program throughout their elementary school years. We had a committed team that worked hard, loved each other, and established themselves as one of the finest teams in the Bay Area. We played our ten game CYO schedule, but supplemented it by traveling all over Northern California seeking the best competition we could find.
Cindy Lowe was my daughter’s best friend and an amazing young athlete. Kristen constantly talked to her about joining our team and in 5th grade her efforts finally proved to be successful. She was a most welcomed addition to our team, a great athlete who brought her energy and enthusiasm to every practice and game. More importantly, Cindy had a heart of gold and became a part of my family, a happy-go-lucky child who always saw the best in everyone. I thoroughly enjoyed every second of coaching this special group of young ladies and was honored to be a part of their growth both on and off the court.
Time filled with countless games and practices flew by as the elementary years swiftly gave way to high school. The members of our close-knit team eventually went their separate ways forming new relationships while attending different high schools and colleges. Despite their separation, the bonds formed on this team remained and they stayed friends throughout the challenges of life’s changes. After graduation from college, many moved back home to create their own families and begin new careers.
Cindy Lowe was my daughter’s best friend and an amazing young athlete. Kristen constantly talked to her about joining our team and in 5th grade her efforts finally proved to be successful. She was a most welcomed addition to our team, a great athlete who brought her energy and enthusiasm to every practice and game. More importantly, Cindy had a heart of gold and became a part of my family, a happy-go-lucky child who always saw the best in everyone. I thoroughly enjoyed every second of coaching this special group of young ladies and was honored to be a part of their growth both on and off the court.
Time filled with countless games and practices flew by as the elementary years swiftly gave way to high school. The members of our close-knit team eventually went their separate ways forming new relationships while attending different high schools and colleges. Despite their separation, the bonds formed on this team remained and they stayed friends throughout the challenges of life’s changes. After graduation from college, many moved back home to create their own families and begin new careers.
"One September evening, Kristen stunned my family with the news that her best friend had been diagnosed with cancer."
One September evening, Kristen stunned my family with the news that her best friend had been diagnosed with cancer. We were shocked and devastated by the news, but confident that Cindy, true to her nature, would battle this adversity with everything she had. As the year passed, it became clear that her cancer had spread and was well past the “fighting stage.”
On a hot summer Friday afternoon I was preparing to speak to the hundreds of campers and their families who would soon be assembled at my annual basketball camp. I looked across the gym as my daughter Kristen walked slowly past the final championship games and approached me as I stood in a tiny closet adjusting the sound system. She abruptly burst into tears as she told me that Cindy had called her with the tragic news that this would be her last weekend. There was nothing else the doctors could do to save or prolong her life.
Kristen wept in despair as she explained that Cindy had called to ask me to visit her bedside at John Muir Hospital. I was in a daze as I consolingly hugged my daughter and fought through the overwhelming emotion as I softly whispered that I would go to the hospital immediately after finishing my speech.
A half hour later I left the gym, entered my car and cried uncontrollably as Kristen’s words finally began to sink in. I drove in a trance as I navigated the short trip to John Muir Medical Center. My tears were flowing as I thought of Cindy and our amazing history as coach and player. I thought of her many accomplishments at camp and remembered vividly how just a few years earlier, I had called her name at the Friday Awards Ceremony as she had so fittingly won the Most Inspirational Player Award.
On a hot summer Friday afternoon I was preparing to speak to the hundreds of campers and their families who would soon be assembled at my annual basketball camp. I looked across the gym as my daughter Kristen walked slowly past the final championship games and approached me as I stood in a tiny closet adjusting the sound system. She abruptly burst into tears as she told me that Cindy had called her with the tragic news that this would be her last weekend. There was nothing else the doctors could do to save or prolong her life.
Kristen wept in despair as she explained that Cindy had called to ask me to visit her bedside at John Muir Hospital. I was in a daze as I consolingly hugged my daughter and fought through the overwhelming emotion as I softly whispered that I would go to the hospital immediately after finishing my speech.
A half hour later I left the gym, entered my car and cried uncontrollably as Kristen’s words finally began to sink in. I drove in a trance as I navigated the short trip to John Muir Medical Center. My tears were flowing as I thought of Cindy and our amazing history as coach and player. I thought of her many accomplishments at camp and remembered vividly how just a few years earlier, I had called her name at the Friday Awards Ceremony as she had so fittingly won the Most Inspirational Player Award.
"Cindy, our newest player, said: “hey coach, it isn’t if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.”
I thought of our team and her contributions to our success in CYO Basketball. As I drove through my sadness, I recalled another emotional ride after one of our few losses at Saint Agnes. After a narrow defeat in a non-league game, the girls and I piled into my car for the agonizing ride back home from Oakland. All of the girls knew how their coach responded after a loss and were indulging me with the obligatory silence. As I quietly steamed from the outcome, my negative attitude filled the air. Finally, a squeaky voice from the back of the station wagon disrupted the silence as Cindy, our newest player, said: “hey coach, it isn’t if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.” Nine girls let out an audible gasp wondering how she would dare to break the silence and how their 31 year-old coach would handle her truthful statement as she innocently put an insignificant loss back into perspective. My silence was deafening as I learned a lesson from her that day, one that I remembered every time I took the court from that day forward.
My bittersweet reflections abruptly faded away as I hastily departed my car and walked swiftly into the Medical Center. Sorrowfully wandering through the halls of the hospital I finally approached her floor and was greeted outside the doorway by her father. We shared a tear as we briefly spoke about this sudden and unexpected turn of events. He thanked me for coming and explained that Cindy had asked a handful of people who were special to her to come and visit so she could say “thank you” and a final farewell.
My bittersweet reflections abruptly faded away as I hastily departed my car and walked swiftly into the Medical Center. Sorrowfully wandering through the halls of the hospital I finally approached her floor and was greeted outside the doorway by her father. We shared a tear as we briefly spoke about this sudden and unexpected turn of events. He thanked me for coming and explained that Cindy had asked a handful of people who were special to her to come and visit so she could say “thank you” and a final farewell.
"She acknowledged that maybe she was losing some years, that her life may have been cut short, but she was proud that she had lived it to the fullest. She then stated that it was easy to “say goodbye” when you leave with NO REGRETS."
I struggled to contain my emotions as my son and I walked hesitantly into her room only to be greeted by her always-present smile. She was tethered to machines, her loving eyes sunken deep into her head, missing the long blond hair that fell victim to her treatments. Ironically, she was absolutely beautiful as she radiated love, peace, and understanding. She laughed as we shared some of the great times we had and I stood humbly as she recalled the lessons she had learned from her experiences at Saint Agnes and at my Excel Basketball Camp. She assured me that the lessons weren’t in vain as she had used the skills that she had been taught every day of her life and drew strength from them throughout the challenge of her illness.
I asked her how someone so young could be at peace with such a fate. I wondered how she had the presence of mind to call people in to visit her with the sole intention of lifting their spirits? She smiled and said it was easy. She expressed her gratitude to God, who enabled her to go home and spend a special year with her parents. She was thankful that they now knew how much she loved them and how much they meant to her. She explained that she had given her best in everything she had ever done, from being a great daughter, sister, aunt, girlfriend, teammate, and friend. She acknowledged that maybe she was losing some years, that her life may have been cut short, but she was proud that she had lived it to the fullest. She then stated that it was easy to “say goodbye” when you leave with NO REGRETS.
As our conversation came to a close, she grabbed my hand gently, bade her final farewell and said, “I wanted to thank you for being the best coach I had ever had.” I responded that she had it all wrong, that she was the best coach I ever had. I thanked her for the many lessons she had taught me, from her first on coaching with the proper perspective and her final lesson on living each day with no regrets. I hugged and kissed her one last time and asked if she would allow me to honor and remember her by naming the Most Inspirational Player Award, the most important award in our camp, after her. I reminded her that she was the first winner of that award and that she had certainly lived up to that acknowledgment as she had inspired and motivated everyone around her every day of her life. She smiled broadly and proudly gave me her approval.
It has been eighteen years since that sorrowful and most profound day. Each summer Friday afternoon since then, I stand before hundreds of campers and their families and fight the lump in my throat as I take a moment to remember and to acknowledge her love, strength and unconquerable spirit as I present the Cindy Lowe Most Inspirational Player Award.
I asked her how someone so young could be at peace with such a fate. I wondered how she had the presence of mind to call people in to visit her with the sole intention of lifting their spirits? She smiled and said it was easy. She expressed her gratitude to God, who enabled her to go home and spend a special year with her parents. She was thankful that they now knew how much she loved them and how much they meant to her. She explained that she had given her best in everything she had ever done, from being a great daughter, sister, aunt, girlfriend, teammate, and friend. She acknowledged that maybe she was losing some years, that her life may have been cut short, but she was proud that she had lived it to the fullest. She then stated that it was easy to “say goodbye” when you leave with NO REGRETS.
As our conversation came to a close, she grabbed my hand gently, bade her final farewell and said, “I wanted to thank you for being the best coach I had ever had.” I responded that she had it all wrong, that she was the best coach I ever had. I thanked her for the many lessons she had taught me, from her first on coaching with the proper perspective and her final lesson on living each day with no regrets. I hugged and kissed her one last time and asked if she would allow me to honor and remember her by naming the Most Inspirational Player Award, the most important award in our camp, after her. I reminded her that she was the first winner of that award and that she had certainly lived up to that acknowledgment as she had inspired and motivated everyone around her every day of her life. She smiled broadly and proudly gave me her approval.
It has been eighteen years since that sorrowful and most profound day. Each summer Friday afternoon since then, I stand before hundreds of campers and their families and fight the lump in my throat as I take a moment to remember and to acknowledge her love, strength and unconquerable spirit as I present the Cindy Lowe Most Inspirational Player Award.
####
|
|
|
